This has not been an easy year.
It might be honest to say that at this point in life the memes about how much we have learned or grown in 2020 are getting a little tiring.
In March when the United States and most of the Western world started to hunker down, there was this feeling that this cannot be real, and once it became real, that quickly shifted to well, this will be over soon.
March turned to May, May to August, and here we are now in December facing shorter days, cold weather and a lot of uncertainty.
While I have grown tired of all of this, I still remain hopeful and excited about the future. And some days I have no fucking clue why?!?!
But then I remember that I am wired for the long haul, and not for the short gain.
And I attribute that to my background as an endurance athlete.
And for that I feel lucky; I am lucky to have a tool box that I can draw from when I am laying on the couch struggling to get to work, or workout, or do at home learning with my daughter, or just being an adult.
I would like to start by saying that if you judge me just based on social media - it might look like I am always working out and it is my one true love. It is. But just like any relationship, I have days that I need to put in more work, argue a little, resolve some conflicts - you know the self talk battle that can happen.
Here is how I have managed to get it in even when there are no races in sight -
1. I do not work on my fitness just to cross a finish line.
I have been at this thing a long time and each season I think will be better than the last, even if it is not - but I always put in the work to make that happen. I love the tweaks and the lessons that come out of racing and I love the validation and goal that it gives me, but I also love the goals that my coach gives me. I love the daily execution, that leads to a week, or a month, or a block or a year. I love to crash into my bed at night feeling as if I crossed my daily finish line. I view each day as a mile in my journey and if I get to cross an actual finish line then great, but if not, I am happy knowing that even without a big shiny goal I did not give up on me. To me this is comparable to when you are racing and you feel awful or the race is heading south for whatever reason - are you the athlete who gives in, or are you the athlete who leans in?
2. Working out is a form of self care for me.
And I genuinely believe that it should be the same for you. When Brynja turned six weeks old, I took her to the YMCA daycare for the first time and continued to do so each and every day for the first year of her life. I was scared to death the first time that I dropped her off - but man was that hour to myself something. As long as I got in an hour of working out, I was invincible for the rest of the day. And that still holds true. For some this can be a much needed solo endeavour and time to think alone, or it can be a time to see another human and chat through all the things on your mind. For me it can be the only time in a week that I have in person (socially distanced of course) adult human contact.
3. My mental health is directly linked to my ability to move my body.
When I was 18 and started to run, I told my doctor that I was so happy when I ran, and so miserable when I didn’t. She told me that running and exercise for many is a needed serotonin boost. Of course, I did not realize how true this was at the time, but it has become increasingly so as I have aged. Now at 42, I know that I need to workout for that reason alone. While not every workout feels incredible at the time of doing it, I am hard pressed to think of a time where I did not feel so happy when I was done - even if the actual workout was not what I dreamed of when I was in the middle of the work.
4. I want to be ready to race when races come back.
THIS ONE IS HUGE! In November we had two athletes race Ironman Florida - while I do not personally coach them, I am of course beyond proud of their resilience and results. When the challenges of Covid hit, and races became an iffy thing, they pressed on, and when it was time to line up at Florida they were beyond ready - and even had best performances. It can be hard to be motivated when we are unsure of races, but think of all of the uncertainties we face in the best of times - we don’t stop training because what if I get injured, or what if the swim is canceled etc. WE PRESS ON!
This year has been nothing short of insane, but I have found many silver linings and I can tell you with 100 percent certainty that the one thing that has helped me get through 2020 IS training even when I have no clue when I will toe a start line again.